I will write today. I will find time between the Toys R Us trip to buy Tinker Bell shoes and coloring books (which I am truly, totally excited for, no shit) and the library and naps and lunches and dinners and cleaning the food off the walls. I'll write something poetic, probably, deep enough for readers to crawl into and make themselves comfortable, relax in repose until they have to crawl back out into their own busy lives. I
sorry, got interrupted there. Was doing a "Mr. Krabs" impression for my 22-month-old. "Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney."
will clearly articulate some inner truth of my life today. I
"Moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney." Now my kid is rubbing her hands together. "Munnay. Munnay." Sweet.
Her laughter is a pleasing counterpoint to Spongebob in the background.
I forgot what I was doing.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Be Awesome
To all you strong women out there:
You've walked there in your mind to what could be, you've asked "Why not?" Follow your own footsteps to the edge of reason. You might have to get around some cobwebby trolls who whisper "It'll never work" or "You don't have time to be awesome right now." Some of you with strong conflict resolution skills will politely but firmly ask them to step aside. The rest of us will have to get them off balance somehow and push them into the weeds, then taunt them and run.
You've walked there in your mind to what could be, you've asked "Why not?" Follow your own footsteps to the edge of reason. You might have to get around some cobwebby trolls who whisper "It'll never work" or "You don't have time to be awesome right now." Some of you with strong conflict resolution skills will politely but firmly ask them to step aside. The rest of us will have to get them off balance somehow and push them into the weeds, then taunt them and run.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The Truth
He made the case for freedom of thought and expression - and a certain humility regarding one's own cherished beliefs - on the grounds that, no matter how much certainty is in our own hearts, human beings cannot know for sure which truths are true, and that believing we can leads us down a terrible path. --Cullen Murphy
The truth today. Objective fact. Behaviors. Actions.
I did not cross everything off of my list. I rushed my child to bed so I could pay bills. I thought of my children at 2:15 pm and wished I could be with them. My stomach hurt too much to exercise. I received my budget deadline, 15 days from now. I took a project away from my best employee. I had a difficult time forming thoughts. I realized, at least three times, that I need a couple of hours alone to think. I watched Pawn Stars. I weighed the pros and cons of two decisions. In one week I will question my decision. My mind spent more time with the unknowns than with the knowns. I struggled to make pleasant conversation. I made it look easy. I lost two pounds. I wish I had a nemesis - an easy person to blame for all my self-doubt.
You are old enough to wonder, to ask, to reject what is presented to you simply because it was presented to you. But you also cling to the idealism of youth. You feel there must be some single, all-defining Truth - and you think that once you find it, all that once confused you will suddenly make sense. --Brandon Sanderson
I am acutely aware I need to do our taxes and visit C with her new baby. I don't know when I will have the time. I am more honest with a pen than a keyboard. I will need to type this later. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have. I feel like I'm doing nothing well. I badly want to accept a C grade from myself. I want to accept occasional failure. I work with amazing people who don't tell me what they really think because I am their boss. If I quit work tomorrow, no duties or tasks would be important enough to warrant an immediate replacement for me, at least in this merger, this economy, where government is shrinking and putting more on workers is the "right" thing to do. The truth, right now, is that we are all grateful to have a job, and to have the job of the guy who just retired on top of our full-time jobs, and the truth is we cannot complain, or we shall be looked upon as lazy, or inefficent. In the name of great efficiency, the great Truth of work, we absorb the duties of those forced out, praying that we get to keep our two jobs and no pay raises. Government is too big, too inefficient, so we need less people, less resources.
The moment we allow the economic calculus to invade everything, then nothing becomes worthwhile anymore. --E.F. Schumacher
My truth is saying no. And yes, my job feeds and houses and clothes my family, and I need my job. So I say no to small things, strategically, so that I don't end up sleeping at the office, so my employees can go home to their personal lives. And the real truth is that I would like to say no, but I don't.
Leisure and time to think are luxuries we cannot afford in today's economy. The truth is I have everything I want except the time to enjoy it.
I believe that people have their own Journey. --Brigid the Tri-Babe
The truth today. Objective fact. Behaviors. Actions.
I did not cross everything off of my list. I rushed my child to bed so I could pay bills. I thought of my children at 2:15 pm and wished I could be with them. My stomach hurt too much to exercise. I received my budget deadline, 15 days from now. I took a project away from my best employee. I had a difficult time forming thoughts. I realized, at least three times, that I need a couple of hours alone to think. I watched Pawn Stars. I weighed the pros and cons of two decisions. In one week I will question my decision. My mind spent more time with the unknowns than with the knowns. I struggled to make pleasant conversation. I made it look easy. I lost two pounds. I wish I had a nemesis - an easy person to blame for all my self-doubt.
You are old enough to wonder, to ask, to reject what is presented to you simply because it was presented to you. But you also cling to the idealism of youth. You feel there must be some single, all-defining Truth - and you think that once you find it, all that once confused you will suddenly make sense. --Brandon Sanderson
I am acutely aware I need to do our taxes and visit C with her new baby. I don't know when I will have the time. I am more honest with a pen than a keyboard. I will need to type this later. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I have. I feel like I'm doing nothing well. I badly want to accept a C grade from myself. I want to accept occasional failure. I work with amazing people who don't tell me what they really think because I am their boss. If I quit work tomorrow, no duties or tasks would be important enough to warrant an immediate replacement for me, at least in this merger, this economy, where government is shrinking and putting more on workers is the "right" thing to do. The truth, right now, is that we are all grateful to have a job, and to have the job of the guy who just retired on top of our full-time jobs, and the truth is we cannot complain, or we shall be looked upon as lazy, or inefficent. In the name of great efficiency, the great Truth of work, we absorb the duties of those forced out, praying that we get to keep our two jobs and no pay raises. Government is too big, too inefficient, so we need less people, less resources.
The moment we allow the economic calculus to invade everything, then nothing becomes worthwhile anymore. --E.F. Schumacher
My truth is saying no. And yes, my job feeds and houses and clothes my family, and I need my job. So I say no to small things, strategically, so that I don't end up sleeping at the office, so my employees can go home to their personal lives. And the real truth is that I would like to say no, but I don't.
Leisure and time to think are luxuries we cannot afford in today's economy. The truth is I have everything I want except the time to enjoy it.
I believe that people have their own Journey. --Brigid the Tri-Babe
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