Boxing Lessons

I box to punch things, sure.

But it's also a meditation, a figurative beating to soften my attitude toward myself, and a way to cope with stress.

Boxing is painful, for the lungs, the legs, the knuckles. Life's painful too, especially if you stick your neck out to push the envelope and improve upon the status quo.

Lesson 1: Spend a lot of time preparing. Warm-up is a quarter of the boxing lesson. It gets the heart pumping, it loosens the muscles, and focuses the mind on the task at hand.

Lesson 2: Breathe. Sure it will hurt. Breathe through the pain. Deeply. Often.

Lesson 3: Keep your mind in the moment. Pay attention to your moves, or else you'll probably break your wrist.

Lesson 4: Don't look back. You will make mistakes, many of them. Don't let the mistakes mess with your head. Move on from them, quickly. Or else you'll probably break your wrist.

Lesson 5: Don't look too far ahead. Look at the clock and realize there's only 5 minutes left, and I guarantee those 5 minutes will seem like eternity. Plus, why would you think about all the other things you need to get done that day when you need all your concentration not to break your wrist?

Lesson 6: Spend a lot of time recovering. Intense work calls for a couple days of rest.

It's My Pleasure

Hey Neighbor Lady,

Thanks for taking your pint-sized pup for a walk. I walked behind you with my two-week old curled against my chest in a baby carrier and Paris the pit bull heeling on my left. Your perky tits and plump ass - your perfect posture - reminded me to pull my shoulders back and tuck in my patootskies. You walk like you're on a runway. Your ponytail snaps to the right every time your left foot hits the pavement. You are pure postpartum slimtastic exercise inspiration.