Mush

http://crazycoppertop.blogspot.com/2010/02/love-letter-to-old-man.html

This Valentine's Day, I am proving my love to you with

green tea
burnt pancakes (damn it, I can never make breakfast, which is probably why i dream that you are in love with the blonde who makes french toast)
maple sausage
mexican lasagne
rice krispie treats smothered in pink icing
a card to tell you that when you get rid of your cold i'm going to jump your bones.

So What?

i might live life to
a contrived soundtrack. Better
false notes than affairs

sunday snow

the softest bed i know
is in the dirt and leaves
under new falling snow
my view full up
with tops of trees

Senryu Times Three: No French Toast for Thee

yes, dreams do matter

you put your hand on her hip

and stroked her blonde hair

her french toast smelled sweet

sick the way you whispered sex

and slurped the syrup

bad news, you Old Man

I beat up bedtime betty

no more french toast dreams

Annie's Voice

she thought she lost her voice
but then she made a choice

she thought she had no choice
but then she found her voice

tripping
hiding under the covers
from life
unsure of her direction
never with conviction

making hard choices
forcing herself to live with them
alone
in the house she built for herself
in the house she
and no one else
bought for herself

she tells herself she is nothing
no spine no substance
no SHE
no who she is supposed to be

but no one knows or cares
who she is supposed to be

she is carving
cutting
breaking
demanding
the right road for herself
and fuck everyone else
only she can find the way

and she will find the way

even if she never
ever
ever
finds her voice.

Circus

I've moved up the ladder. Climbed, up, up, up. There's a new dynamic here. I wonder what's going on. I wonder, am I the only one who sees that some things here don't make sense? I have a coworker, who didn't get the job I got, who is a thorn in my side. Just one example of the lunacy: she has a Christmas bear that sings "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" when she squeezes its paw. I hear high-pitched Christmas music at odd times in the office coming from this bear. I fantasize about setting it on fire. Politics and interpersonal conflict rule business decisions here at the top. I'm not kidding.

The Old Man has strengths opposite from mine. He takes nothing personally, he assumes the best of everyone, and he doesn't obsess over crazy coworkers. He gave me a metaphor.

"Yes, you're in a circus. Don't be one of the clowns. Be something cool like a trapeze artist. Your boss is the ring master with the crazy hat. Christmas bear lady is a seal with a ball balanced on her nose. Be part of the circus - you have to. Just be something cool."

The circus metaphor is all I've got right now. My instinct is to forcefully and with great venom wall myself off from the craziness.

"Wish me luck having patience and being nice all day tomorrow," I told The Old Man.

"All day?" he said. "I don't think you can do it."

He knows me too well.

"Torn"

Torn is book about work and family. I'm not talking about the Torn I recently read in which a girl dies and comes back to life as a demon slayer with super-magical powers and the ability to inherit the essence of each demon she kills, thus leaving her torn between her demon and human natures.

Where was I? Yes, this Torn is coming out May 2011, and it contains an essay by yours truly called "When I Sneeze, I Pee a Little."

So, if you are a mom who wants to write, a career woman who wants to procreate, a man who is married to a career woman who wants to procreate and write, or a career woman who wants to stay at home with her kids, this book is for you. Pretty much the only people this book is not for are stodgy old men who dream about the good old days when women could do the birthin' and the cookin' and the shuttin' up.

Here is what the book is about, in case my demon-slaying references were confusing:


Trying to strike the right balance between career and motherhood is one of the most stressful, heart-wrenching issues facing women today. In Torn, 46 women examine the conflict between the need to nurture and the need to work, and reveal creative solutions for having the best of both worlds. Their stories offer hope and inspiration, but also reveal the messy realities of modern motherhood and life’s inevitable crises, both small and large: from breast pump mishaps to battles with cancer; diaper blowouts to debilitating depression; competitive cupcake baking to coming home from war. In the end, the reader can take comfort in the knowledge that there is no perfect mother; nor is there a perfect balance when it comes to kids and career. The real challenge facing women today is not juggling their many roles, but realigning their expectations of what is possible and accepting that success does not equal “doing it all.”