Kicking ass

Me: Hey, Baba Yaga, is it ok for women to kick ass?

Baba Yaga: That is a stupid question. Of course it's ok. Now leave, before I kick your ass.

I know a lot of women who kick ass. They are smarter than their significant others, they ask for what they want and sometimes they take what they need, not because they are being selfish or greedy but because they know that it will not occur to others to give them what they need.

Right now I am struggling with saying no, and I have to remind myself that for normal people saying no is almost the default unless they can be persuasively convinced that saying yes will benefit them somehow and not sap too much of their energy. My default is to say yes to everything - thus 2 wasted days away from the office this week when I have a full load of work waiting for me at my desk. Am I an old ugly hag (no offense BY) if I say no - do I risk losing friends?

My multiple personalities fight over this. Competitive me says that of course I can do it all, and in fact I should do it all, because most likely I will do it better than anyone else I can think of. Nice me says I should say yes just to be nice. A very small part of me, becoming a grander presence all the time, jealously protects my time. This me thinks my time is valuable, and says, "Oh yeah, you want me to do something? It'll be worthwhile? Prove it."

I am a black belt in karate, I am a tactical police baton instructor, I can shoot guns and ride horses, but SAYING NO is my new challenge. Bring it!