From the blog http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/ I'm picking up today's writing prompt, Signal: Think of the biggest goal or dream you have. Is life giving you a red, yellow, or green light?
Right now, ahora, I want to improve my relationship with my mom. She and I are almost exactly alike and our relationship has degenerated into communication between strangers. I retreat into mean jokes or sarcasm or plain old silence, and I have stopped trying.
What I want for me: I want my voice to be heard.
What I want for her: I want her voice to be heard. I want her to feel safe to talk to me.
What I want for us: I want us to start having fun with each other again. I want us to be able to effectively handle conflict.
Life is giving me a green light. My mom was brave enough to come to me and tell me what her feelings were, and I thank her for that. I can be an intimidating, disrespectful, angry little shit. Strong moms don't give up on their daughters, and strong daughters can admit when they've been stuck in a pattern of making mistakes. Baba Yaga has officially kicked my ass, and I deserved the wake-up call.
My employer offers Crucial Conversations training, and it so happens that this week I'm spending three days in the training. Funny how all these mediation and conflict resolution skills are imprinted like stone in my mind at work, and when I see the people I care most about, I lose the ability to say how I feel while keeping the conversation neutral and safe.
A big push and a green light. I love you Mom.
Since I too come from a family of impossibly strong moms and daughters, this really resonates. Inside all that sometimes mule-headed strength: such deep wells of love. We are all luckier than we know most days.
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