Melodramatica

Two hours of firearms training gives me three bulged discs.

I can't run or lift weights.

I walk into rooms and don't remember how I came to be there or what for.

I say things like, "Those damn kids."

My boobs are two inches lower.

I wear flat-soled shoes.

My coworkers, boss, acupuncturist, family doctor, physical therapist - along with my mom - tell me to take it easy.

I have to do stupid things like bend at the knees to lift boxes.

I expect to see gray hairs in my gold locks any day now.

That girl on the dance floor with the honky tonk badonkadonk used to be me.

The Old Man might as well skip ahead to his midlife crisis and trade up for a newer model.

Thus begins the

slow
........downhill
.......................slide into

senescence.