Change

Every character in every book on my shelf is interesting not because of what they look like or sound like or want, but because of what they do when things change. Frodo gets the ring, Harry has to go to wizard school, Princess Leigh-Cheri suffers a miscarriage, Peekay was sent to boarding school, Rob and Laura break up, Lestat is bitten, Eragon finds the egg.

What ensues is about the hero struggling through to figure a way out of the trouble. Sometimes the trouble cannot be cured, for example, you're a vampire and you'll always be a vampire even if your friend burns you and cuts you up and buries you in a swamp. But in your head you are working through accepting your own self and making sense of your new world. Sometimes the trouble can be solved and even then the heroes go through painful transformations that leave them a little sadder but wiser and maybe seeing some hope at the end.

I'd like to think that as I go through this huge change at work I'm this interesting, deep character who pays attention to the vital questions in life as I weigh the pros and cons of my next action. I'm not. I go pretty blindly, waiting in this denial stage for someone to rescue me, as if I'm Bella. Fact is, I'm not Bella, not even remotely like her but for the one exception that if a vampire was into me I would totally not kick him out of bed. In my head I'm more like Hermione or Buffy (yes, I do have the Philosophy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on my bookshelf) and I shape my own future.

But even Hermione went through the fuzzy hair stage and we all know that Buffy doubted herself very frequently in Seasons 1 and 2.