Writing

Here's my experience with writing a story. A fictional story, but really I'm drawing from the moments of my life where I've felt the most alive, the most passion.

Writing the first word is agony. There are self doubts that scream at me: why would anyone want to read this, why would I even bother to put the words on the page? What sort of revisionist history will I create, how true will I be to myself, my own voice? What am I doing, seriously?

The first four pages fly by. They are an opening, an introduction that will most likely be cut, that will become irrelevant to the story I'm really writing. But they are necessary, a necessary mental direction - a map laid out on the page that says, it's ok to continue. You're going somewhere now.

Then I get to the hard part, the part that needs perspective, that's screaming out for it, and yet I haven't found a voice yet to provide that perspective, to write about all of this as if it actually turns out ok.

This is a story that I want to hear. I want to know how it ends. If for no other reason, I need to continue to write it.