Looking Back

Around New Year's everyone turns into a redhead. There's an obsession with looking back over the past year, making lists, counting what was best, and what was worst. We want to improve on our past, make the next year better. Where did we go wrong? What did we do right? People, this is a very redhead view of the world - it's how I live my life. And I warn you...spend too much time doing it and you'll go nuts.

That being said. Here's my list:

What I did right:

• I spent time with my friends. I traveled to DC and put in face-time rather than cyber-face time, and spent time with people I truly care about and always will.
• I spent time with my family. My son knows his grandparents and aunts and uncles in a way I never did.
• I was nicer to my Mom. She deserves it.
• Me and the Old Man potty-trained The Kid. Gave ourselves some diaper-free months until the next little monster comes along.
• Spent more time having Fun with The Kid. Let some chores slide. Best trade-off I ever made.
• I fell in love more with the Old Man, and let my guard down around him a little bit.
• I reconnected with an old childhood friend who haunts my dreams. Funny how people don't let you go. Nor should they.
• When my boss wanted to delay an assignment for me until after maternity leave, I called her on it. Just because I'm gestating doesn't mean I can't think and work anymore. Jesus Christ.
• I published an article.
• Blogged a lot. Dreamed up Fran, a character who will make me write about her more in 2010.
• Traveled less and made sure the three of us had more time as a family.

What I regret:

• Spending time with worry. At times letting it consume me.
• Getting drunk in Wichita. Although I didn't know I was pregnant at the time.
• Letting my sadness this fall spill over and affect my family.
• Being mean to my Mom.
• Feeling alone in my own home way too much.

Song of the Year:

• "It Happens" - Sugarland

Did I learn anything?

• I understand communication in theory, but in practice, I suck.
• A husband and a child can bring more depth to life than I ever imagined.

Happy 2010 everyone. I hope we can all learn to live in the present more, and worry about the future less.