Men and Women in High Places

Practice for women on how to assert themselves in the workplace.

You could say:

"Dear Blowhard Jackass, every time you ignore the role I play at work and go straight over my head with your ideas about how I do my job, I want to kick you in the shins. You are a chest-puffer, all talk, high and mighty talk about how things need to change, but not one ounce of practical advice for how that change has to occur. Give me some advice, and I'll take it into consideration. I understand that because of your short stature you may be compensating for something. You may feel as if you have no control over anything and it drives you crazy to see a woman in charge of all the things that are dear to your heart. You may think you are a brilliant negotiator. You are not. I am your peer, you juvenile idiot. Take your moustache and Wranglers and suck it."

Or you could say:

"I am a firm believer that in this organization we have an important mission to achieve, and that we are all working together to achieve that mission. Your behaviors, specifically providing input to my supervisors rather than speaking directly with me, fosters competition among our units rather than collaboration. It is much more useful to understand what we are doing and the reasons why, speak with us about what you see as possible improvements, and then jointly collaborate on alternatives. Your belief in "Verbal Judo," a method to defuse conflict, should benefit you in a time like this. Your actions are contributing to the conflict. Until and unless you give your ideas about my responsibilities directly to me, I will not incorporate any of your suggestions. You need my collaboration for any initiative to be successful."